In which I give my $0.02 on the nominees for Best Picture.

Avatar: Didn’t see it.

The Blind Side: Never really even heard of it.

District 9: Didn’t see it, kinda want to.

An Education: Didn’t see it, want to.

The Hurt Locker: Didn’t see it, don’t really care to.

Inglourious Basterds: Didn’t see it, want to.

Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire: Didn’t see it. It looks OK, but the “Based on the Novel…” part of the title drives me nuts.

A Serious Man: Didn’t see it, totally want to.

Up: Not really sure what this is.

Up in the Air: Didn’t see it, don’t care.

I’ve been thinking that same thing for a while: that it makes us look like pussies to be afraid to have the terrorist trials in our cities. And, wow, John Stewart is great, great, great in this interview. And Newt Gingrich is either a liar and/or uninformed.

But, please clarify the “something with animals” quip.

Luckenbach, TX.

Marfa, TX.

I hate gum. I hate it. I hate smelling other peoples discarded gum. So. Hotel lobby bar of the Sheraton in Austin. They have Wasabi peas in a weird little glass jar thing shaped somewhat like a dradle. I poured a handful into my hand which then were promptly transferred to my mouth. Why is there something soft? Why is it cinnamon flavored? I had someone’s fucking discarded gum in my mouth. Gross. Gross. Gross. We complained, obviously. I got a free Maker’s on the rocks out of it, but still, I’m fucking scarred. I hate gum. And, I hate that human nature makes people discard gum into communal edibles. I will never eat communal food again. Mark that.

Almost happy new year, everybody. I wish for everyone to feel the way Sly Stone feels at 2:05 in this video. (Sidenote: How awesome is the grey haired white dude in the audience?)

Old long sign.

I love my girlfriend more than I have ever loved anyone in the world. But if, say, she were to die in a tragic wigwam malfunction, I would want Karen O to be my girlfriend.

One of the best parts of being in a relationship is learning things from, and teaching things to, your other. She has taught me all about wine. So imagine my elation when the situation arose for me to teach her something. She had (shockingly) never heard the term “cameltoe”. I, of course, felt it my duty to educate her with an off the cuff internet slideshow.

I wonder if she knows what a “donkey punch” is?