A Trip to the Doctor

Me: how can I have high cholesterol? I’m only 29.
Him: maybe you shouldn’t smoke deep-fried cigarettes.
Me: yeah, you are probably right.

Me: so what about this weird ache in my left testicle?
Him: I can’t tell you what that is, nor can any of the dozens of specialists to whom I am going to refer you.
Me: interesting. How much am I paying for this?
Him: $___________
Me: that seems like a lot.
Him: it is.

Him: the good news is that your prostate feels wealthy. [this is a typo. it is supposed to read "healthy". wealthy is so much fucking funnier, I can't change it]
Me: yeah, I know. I checked it once this morning and three times last night.
Him: what?
Me: never mind.

Coming Next Month: A Trip to the Dentist