Could you please try to be a little more specific? Are we talking Northern California or Southern California? California is big. Well, long or tall depending on how the map is positioned in front of you. And New Mexico, do people still actually live there? I have driven through the state a few times and all I saw was a Dairy Queen with a mummy in it and a family of gopher looking things in a tumbleweed.

Terrorists,

If you are going to strike in Los Angeles, well, first I would ask that you please did not. Secondly, I would ask you which neighborhood you are planning to hit. I just moved to a new house and the rent is real cheap. Like a deal you just can’t find in LA. I would hate to have to look for a new place with the same square footage/location for the relatively low amount of cash. Next I would say this. Most of the country already hates the people in LA. We are a little obnoxious and we overdo the Botox and plastic surgery, but most of us are pretty decent people. There are also many people who are really into this season of The O.C., so please don’t do anything to the studio in which that show is filmed. I’m trying to think of a neighborhood that would work for everybody. I was going to say the valley, but that is where most of my pornography is made, and we all know that nobody can live without porn.

So it looks like the megalopolis of LA isn’t the best place for a terror strike. I just can’t think of anywhere that would work for all parties involved.

Sincerely,
JFK

P.S. Have you tried Pilates? It is very relaxing and it might make you hate us infidels a little less. Also, if you haven’t already, I would very much recommend some of our Valley porn that I mentioned earlier. They have fixed the little HIV problem they were having, so now we can finally watch a woman have sex with 14 guys without worrying for her.

Sorry for the lack of updates. My weekend in San Diego was good. I surfed for the first time in a decade. My review of surfing is this: it’s a whole lotta work for very little reward. I live my life vice versa of that theme, so I probably won’t be surfing any time again in the near future. Also, I skated the Park.

But the real reason for the lack of updating (which will more than likely extend into the near future) is that I am doing the annual spring-cleaning of my life. And most of those topics are boring. For example:

<ul>
<li>Transferring all of my accounts to the full-service and <i>tres</i>-stylish . While opening an account I was seated in an . Both my ass and my bank accounts are happier.
<li>Making sure that the proper percentage of my income is being transferred to my Money Market, SEP IRA, and Aggressive Investment accounts.
<li>Assuring that the proper percentage of my SEP IRA funds are in their proper categories i.e. cash, growth & income, and aggressive growth.
<li>I am going back to school in August, which is causing me to restructure my hours at work and set up an office at home.
<li>New computer. I have gigs upon gigs upon gigs of files to go through and transfer the needed files to the new computer.
<li>I am glued to the Democratic National Convention on the radio and television. Did you fucking hear Reverend Alton and President Clinton’s speeches? Now <i>those</i> are fucking orators.
<li>Looking forward to keynote speech. I think that is just what the Democratic Party needs; young, black, progressive and handsome. He will be our first black president.
<li>Choosing a charity to make monthly contributions to. it’s tax-deferred and it feels OK too. When you live a life like mine it’s never a bad idea to stock up on some good karma. Related story, I am volunteering for .
<li>Racquetball, bitches.
</ul>

Until I am done with my spring-cleaning, go read some of the people that I link to. And, .

Nothing but love,
JFK