Today I have been fixing bad links in my archives and ran across that period of time when I allowed Sarah, Heather, Lydia and Searcy to post on Percenterprises. When I imported all of those posts into MT, it automatically assigns me as the author of every post. Well earlier I read this:

Okay, I will. This is something that I would like to share. I was making out with this guy in San Diego awhile ago, mostly because it was his birthday and felt like I should, he was only kind of cute. Anyway, he kept licking my teeth. This is not normal. Who the fuck does that? Do people do that? Has this ever happened to anyone else? Are teeth erogenous? I don’t think mine are.

And even when I read it, I thought what the fuck I am saying here? I then remembered that this is a Lydia post. So, if you happen to be incredibly bored, looking through my archives and run into an odd sounding post, blame it on one of the people mentioned above. Also, if anything in there isn’t funny/smart/clever it is also them.

I have a few more good quotes from the Taibbi book that I was going to post, but I have decided to take a vacation from politics for a bit. If Congress can do it, why can’t I? There are some truly funny moments in the book, usually fueled by LSD or mushrooms.

I fell asleep yesterday watching Fox News and woke up wanting to invade the countries of brown people.

So disregard the post below this one. I decided that I am going to learn how to install Movable Type. I am going to do it on my old server though, because I don’t care if I fuck it up. i still need to fix this template and build a few more pages for this site. I kinda wanna have a book blog, and an architecture blog, and maybe keep this site free of that. I don’t know. I wonder if there is a way that my Archinect blog can post to my…. never mind. that’s over my head and boring to you, I am sure.

I watched the Family Guy movie last night. It was pretty funny, but not great by any means. Since it is a leaked copy it seemed to not quite be finished and the audio synching was way off. So that was a little annoying. The line that I remember as being the funniest is when Peter is teaching Meg how to date. He says, “I am gonna have you beating guys off with both hands in no time”.

If any of you have Flickr accounts, add me as a contact. Just click on one of the photos right there. (—>)

I am beginning to miss California a little bit. I haven’t seen a homeless person all Summer.

What else?

Two weeks as a non-smoker. It has actually been a lot easier this time. I haven’t really wanted to quit on my previous attempts. I always just put on the patch and hoped for it to kill my desire for cigarettes. This time the desire is dead, the patch is just a fashion accessory.

See you tomorrow.

I, Jason King, pledge to never ever go into the movable type directories that I don’t recognize and mess with any file that ends with “.pm” or any other file extension that I don’t know the first thing about. I also now understand that it doesn’t matter that there aren’t any comments on all of the posts that I imported from my old Blogger days. It isn’t worth totally fucking up your MT installation and spending 4 hours trying to fix it and eventually having to have someone else upload the fucked up file to your directory. Also. When you back up files from your desktop and a little window pops up asking if you want to overwrite them, think about it for a second before you click “yes”.

I just got back from my day of amusement at Six Flags Over Texas. Remember how cynical I used to be? it’s kinda hard to be cynical when I am with my nephews and their two friends and my niece. I see them having so much fun and it takes me back to when I was a kid going to Six Flags , being scared by the big rollercoasters and the big hillbillies who come from Idon’tknowwhere. There were, like, real hillbillies there today. I thought maybe they were characters from some Hillbilly Themed area of the park, but I really didn’t see such an area, excluding the smoking areas (which I didn’t use. 10 days on/off the wagon, whichever refers to me not smoking). Where was I? Oh yeah, hard to be cynical… Going to a place like this with The World’s greatest Nephews and Niece™ is awesome.

A quick review of the park:

Superman Ride: Totally Awesome.
Batman Ride: Totally Awesome.
Texas Titan: Totally awesome.

The Superman ride was the definite highlight. It is one of those towers that shoots you to the top and then let’s you chill for a second before dropping you to what certainly must be your death. it’s the tallest of its kind in North America, or so some voice-over claimed while we were waiting in line to ride it(5x). it’s really fun. Although I think screaming “Holy Fuck” is frowned upon. I am certain that a 5 year old’s father frowned at me for screaming it, but I can’t comment on official park policy. I try not to ever curse around children, but just the way a baby knows to laugh and cry, it is innate for me to say holy fuck! when I am thrust into the air at 700MPH.

When we were about to get on The Roaring Rapids (AKA the most mellow ride in the world that ever killed anyone) a funny/not so funny eavesdropping miscommunication happened. There was a girl on the ride who had no legs. There was a normal looking 40-ish mom standing next to us with her kids, pointing into the raft and saying (not quietly, I might add) “Half of that girl got wet.” Something like that. But because of what I was looking at, and the syntax of her sentence, what I heard was “Half-girl got wet”. Now. I pride myself on never-ever-nerver getting offended. It would take, like, David Duke telling me a holocaust joke to offend me. But I was staring at this woman in disbelief, I think my mouth may have even been open. I was thinking “What kind of person thinks that, then doesn’t try to hide it, then blurts it out and points?” And then I noticed that there was a woman in line with the trajectory of her pointer finger that was soaked from the waist down. Which I think makes me the bad person in this story.

I will upload some pictures tomorrow to Flickr. They are mostly of the kids, but that is what Six Flags is about anyway. Well, that, and $12 on fast food and another $10 to (badly) miss 4 3-pointers with a chance to win a basketball worth less than $10.

[The people who already know what this title references and have heard it or own it, we will be friends for life. One of the funniest hours of comedy ever.]

I still have a lot of work to do to get my site looking the way that I want it to look. It is mostly CSS formatting from here on out. I can’t do anymore tonight. I think I am going to take a day or two off from the internet. I am going to read and relax tonight. I have already had a large Scotch+Soda while sitting in the jacuzzi, so the relaxation part is already underway. Tomorrow I am going to Six Flage Over Texas amusement park because the weather is so nice and I am in the mood for some amusement. I will fix my footer and my sidebar and try to figure out why things look different in every different web browser some other time. I am going to take my camera to 6Flags with me, so check the Flickr stream right around there (—>) for some updated pictures.

10 (9?) days without smoking. Say word.

Whenever I go overseas, one of the most delightfully shocking differences I notice is the advertising. Check out these foreign condom ads that range from clever and funny (the text reads: Lubricated Condoms):

To rather macabre:

(Defamer’s commentary on this ad is “I knew a Lindsay Lohan sex tape would surface.”)

This is exactly what I was talking about a few posts ago when I mentioned mainstream medias infatuation with bloggers. When I checked my sitemeter this morning, I noticed that I had some referrals from Newsweek, of all places. They have (and I will admit, cleverly) teamed up with Technorati to create a feed of blogger reactions to certain topical stories. My post about Rupert Murdoch/MySpace/Bongo the Coke Monkey was 2nd in the feed. I am assuming the feed is related to the Rupert Murdoch part more that the Bongo the Coke Monkey part.

Jason F King: America’s Best Looking and Fearlessly Endowed News Source.

My site may be down some in the next couple of days. I am doing an overhaul of my template/ site structure. I am converting all of the html to php and using MT’s include modules. In the longrun it will make my life easier, but right now it is really just a replacement activity for smoking. And I don’t exactly like the way my site looks. I like the images, I just don’t really care for the layout. It may be displayed in the default template when you see it for the next couple of days, but should be up/running/looking good this week. And I have some architecture to do. Not smoking is easy when you are busy.

*Update. So, now it is fucking 4:00 in the morning, Texas time. I have been working on my site all night. And look at it…exactly the same. It took me 5 hours to realize that since I switched to dynamic publishing I had to change my directories to “777″, whatever that means. What architecture? it’s 4:00 and now I have to start doing the work that I actually get paid to do. (For your innocent eyes, I edited at least 8 fuckings out of this update. You’re fucking welcome.

i’m a little under the weather, so today’s post will just be links with a light dash of one-liner commentary. I think I have a cold in the fucking Summer.

I am fucking terrified is a pretty funny parody of We’re not afraid.

I didn’t even know that Austin had an NBADL team. How weird.

Johnny, this should help you get through your grueling days in the cubicle world. Also, since you are my primary [read: only] Latino friend, I have a question for you. Is Mind of Mencia funny? I only catch the last 4 minutes when I am waiting for The Daily Show to air, and is seems like the most stupid fucking show I have ever seen.

Try to imagine for a minute that there was a god (I know, I know) and he is all-knowing etc. And then imagine that this was the way that you sold said god. Who knew the Baptists were so cheeky?

Still loving Google Earth. Have you seen the hybrid view?

Chevron has realized that the “era of easy oil is over” and has opened up discussion for, I don’t know, alternatives I suppose. I didn’t go into their discussion forums but it reminded me of something that Matt Taibbi wrote in his book about Harry Braun. Braun is a scientist who ran for president in 2004 on the platform of converting to Hydrogen as our energy source. And everything he says makes sense. But he is a scientist and not a politician, so he was portrayed in the media as being crazy. Taibbi says it better:

Braun was nuts, but only slightly nuts. [...] As I listened to him, I wondered: why is this person automatically dismissed as a lunatic? What could be more natural than a scientist running for president, taking a case directly to the people for the funding of a massive, revolutionary investment in world-changing science? The campaign is a time for national discussion- why can’t it be about science? Why does that kind of vision have to take a back seat to this dreary, confined dialogue about tax policy and abortion rights?

Gallery of WWII anti-Japanese US propaganda posters. Thank god (when you knee-mail him) the Bushies can’t be this blatant about their war.

From everything that I have heard, which isn’t much, Supreme Court nominee Roberts seems like a decent enough guy. However, I didn’t realize that his wife was a pro-life activist. Earlier when I said that you might want to get an abortion or two now, umm, you may want to stock up.

Oh, I havent forgotten about you, traitor.

When I heard the news that Rubert Murdoch (of Fox News infamy) had purchased MySpace, I was pretty sure that I would delete my account. I decided that I didn’t really care enough about my political stance to let it affect something as trivial as my web groups. But today. This might just be the straw that broke Glen Campbell’s back.

Friend requests from Bongo the Coke Monkey and an asshole (literally, apparently) named Sandra. i’m a 31 year old man getting friend requests from something called Bongo the Coke Monkey. I think it is definitely time to go.