#24 X-treme Everything
This issue has kind of been done to death, but some road signs I have seen on my drive have irked me into including it in this list. The signs have showcased “X-treme Worshipping”. Unfortunately, I was going 90MPH and couldn’t snap a photo, so a description will have to suffice. The first sign showed kids getting X-treme baptisms; they were fucking bungee jumping to their baptisms. Oh my god it hurts. The second sign showed two teens skydiving with rather large crucifix necklaces photoshoppily floating from their necks. Now I don’t have much interest in skydiving (it’s #3792 on my list of things to do before I die. To give you some context, #3793 on this list is to have my testicles surgically rotated; to see how my left one would look on my right and vice-versa. Also, #3794 is to go snow skiing with Sonny Bono, so the list is obviously outdated.) but I don’t think you would want a huge chunk of metal near your facial teeth when falling at millions of miles per hour. Sidenote: Isn’t religious extremism exactly what we are at war with? Let that one trigger a synapse for a moment.
Also. Products nowadays are all extreme, or have bite, or kick or some other shit. It was overly apparent in the hygiene section. I was looking for a new deodorant. I didn’t need an Xtreme smell, my odor isn’t that bad thank you. I want to smell like the ocean, not something with gnarly in the description. It doesn’t need to be xtreme; I’m not looking for it to Backside Smith Grind my armpit, it is supposed to just be there, calmly.
This topic is personal to me because of my history in professional skateboarding. Joe Public thinks that this is the way skateboarders act; all whoa dude! and killer xtreme flick move bro! This entire x-this, x-that campaign was created by Marketing Graduates and not skateboarders. We hate this shit.
This ain’t your Grandpa’s blog entry. Totally gnarly. Grrr.
