I spend a decent amount of time cleansing all of the comment spam leftover from Movable Type. I hope to never read the phrase ‘pokemon hentai” ever again. On the plus side, I get to re-read some of my wonderfulest old posts and laugh and laugh. Oh, how I laugh. So here is an excerpt from a post from last summer when I was driving from TX to CA. The post is too long but this little exchange actually made me laugh out loud.

Anyway. The night before I assaulted the automated gas pump I stayed in another Microtel. My love affair with the Microtel Brand Motel Chain has kind of cooled. This one, though it didn’t smell like cum, didn’t have a pool (yet). I am doing science-y things to see if the cum smell/pool, no cum smell/no pool is in anyway related. So far I have had mixed results though I did make a chlorine baby by accident. But back to my Microtel experience.

This Microtel was in Bellmont, AZ just outside of Flagstaff. The first problem was that the cute, younger-than-she-looked (I’ll get to this later maybe) told me the price was:

“$59.99 with AAA,” she said.

“What? It was ten dollars less in Tucumcari, NM [I actually said enn emm to try to sound hip like the young people who speak acronymically]” I expressed, trying to gain some points by knowing where every Microtel in the country is.

“Yeah. This is Flagstaff,” she said matter of factly.

“Exactly,” I said while thinking the French word Touché in my head in German.

She stared at me quizzically.

I stared back at her super-attractively.

“OK. Is this near here?” I replied while pointing to a local travel guide with an obviously photoshopped/airbrushed waterfall.

“No. I don’t think that exists,” she retorted.

“I didn’t tort first, so yours doesn’t count,” I was about to say.

It was then that I noticed that this girl was kind of cute for someone from Arizona and I automagically went into try to get laid mode.

“So, is there like anywhere to go out and get a drink around here?”

“Yeah, there is a bar right across the freeway.”

“Oh. Is it fun?”

“I wouldn’t know. I’m not old enough to drink.”

“Oh. Umm. I’m gonna go look at that waffle iron while you finish checking me in.”

So. I went to my room and found out the pool was under constuction, no HBO, no Comedy Central and I had gained an hour so it was 5fucking30PM. So I decided to sit around and do what it is that you do in Arizona:

Wish that you were in California.