One Of The Most Amazing Things I Have Ever Read
A few minutes ago I realized that my 12 year old nephew, Kenny, had been blogging on MySpace. I went there thinking it would be some “cute” kid stuff, that as an adoring uncle I would have to say “Oh, it’s really good” like what you say when you hear your friends band. But holy shit, it’s really good! There is something very “stream of consciousness” about it. I have left the misspellings intact because I like the contrast of the kind of middle school misspelling with the very intelligent and mature humor. And there is something of a Kerouacian hurriedness to it (like not having the time, or the care to figure out “quiche”). [sidethought: can you imagine if someone as prolific as Kerouac could have had a blog?]
I hate to get all academic about this. But there are somehow a lot of concerns that have been answered by reading this. I have always been a little bit worried about how it would be for people growing up in Kenny’s generation, constantly inundated by advertising. How would this branding be reflected in literature, art, music, etc.? I always thought that it would make an entire generation of super consumers. And I am pretty sure it was Kenny, who when he came to visit me when he was like 3, I heard humming a Subway jingle. I can remember thinking “Oh shit”. Reading this, I realize that there is an innocent subversion. The same way that Warhol incorporated corporate imagery into Pop Art. The fact that it is titled “My Diary: Rewritten and Edited by Kenny N.” implies a very intelligent observation. It’s ironic post-modernism, a salute (and a fuck you, perhaps) to the idea that there are no new thoughts or ideas. Our lives have already been scripted for us, all we can do it rewrite and edit them. Our diaries are no longer purchased empty.
Aside from all the academic blubber above, this is very, very funny. Funny beyond a 12 year old. I know some “real” writers who would kill for a couple of these sentences. Never would I have thought that my 12 year old nephew from Texas is more avant garde than me. Here ya go:
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
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My Diary [Rewritten And Edited By Kenny N.]
Current mood:  accomplished
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
I like eating avacado flavored jellybeans and stirring chocolate milk with a fork at 3 o’clock in the morning with my mom’s friend and his dog who also likes jellybeans. His favorite color is magenta and his favorite holidy is Memorial Day. His favorite show is the Oprah Winfrey show. He wears 3 pairs of socks and he likes lollypops. He thinks Albertsons has the best sale on paper bags but i think he is just a big sillyhead. He doesn’t beleive that I have 72 paper clips. Bottle openers are a waste of time. He wears flip-flops and had measles when he was 3. He throughs tennis balls at cereal boxes. Silly string tastes like apricot. He forgot that hoodies have hoods. His favorite sushi is rainbow trout. Townhouse crackers are good but I perfer Saltines. The other day he went to the mall with me and bought a football jersey that said Freddy McMahon. I have no clue who that is but he plays for the chargers. The G note sound louder than the E note…Weird. My mom said tinted windows are always yellow but i told her she was wrong. Don’t get Pico Digio in your eyes. Mr. Pibb taste spectacular. YESS! Swifter Duster cleans up 37% more dust than the leading brands. By the way I just went to The Gap and got my favorit scarf and sweater… I’m so pimp.. I also got some cheeze-its and a big gulp. When i grow up I want to work at The Gap. I had a dream that cows invaded plastic boxes. It was hardcore. I took a test on Levi Strauss today and made a 94%. I once drew a picture of a cup of lemonade and it looked like this .
I played poker once and beat my dad with a 2 pair. I won $1.93. Yea i would say I’m pretty a pretty narly dude you know. I used my fergalicious umbrella yesterday and it protected half of my head from getting wet. Happy cheese comes from happy cows. Big Red and Blues Clues rhyme. I secretly have a crush on the girl on the cover of the history book. Eggnog and Keish makes a healthy breakfast on tuesday. The soap that comes out of the Gojo dispensers is somnetimes pink. Someone is a fat, meany, stupidbutt for knocking over my pencil tower that was 4 pencils high. I was also about to call Guiness. I’m so mad! I will someday take over the world with an atomic bomb made out of staples. There will also be some type of chemical reaction in Canada and warm up all the eskimos. Actually when I was 4 I had a dream that my head was a pineapple. I love a parade. I hate it when you play candy land and have to go back 2 squares. -Kenny N.
To be continued.
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holy eff i am dying over this.
i’m totally printing it out and keeping it in my wallet.
wow
haha.. thanks for putting this on here
can’t w8 to see you!
Kenny sounds like Jason II
“he forgot that hoodies have hoods”
“i secretly have a crush on the girl on the cover of the history book.”
he’s making me feel like it’s a good idea to have kids.
this one’s my favorite:
“actually when i was four i had a dream that my head was a pineapple”