I hate gum. I hate it. I hate smelling other peoples discarded gum. So. Hotel lobby bar of the Sheraton in Austin. They have Wasabi peas in a weird little glass jar thing shaped somewhat like a dradle. I poured a handful into my hand which then were promptly transferred to my mouth. Why is there something soft? Why is it cinnamon flavored? I had someone’s fucking discarded gum in my mouth. Gross. Gross. Gross. We complained, obviously. I got a free Maker’s on the rocks out of it, but still, I’m fucking scarred. I hate gum. And, I hate that human nature makes people discard gum into communal edibles. I will never eat communal food again. Mark that.

Almost happy new year, everybody. I wish for everyone to feel the way Sly Stone feels at 2:05 in this video. (Sidenote: How awesome is the grey haired white dude in the audience?)

Old long sign.

I love my girlfriend more than I have ever loved anyone in the world. But if, say, she were to die in a tragic wigwam malfunction, I would want Karen O to be my girlfriend.

One of the best parts of being in a relationship is learning things from, and teaching things to, your other. She has taught me all about wine. So imagine my elation when the situation arose for me to teach her something. She had (shockingly) never heard the term “cameltoe”. I, of course, felt it my duty to educate her with an off the cuff internet slideshow.

I wonder if she knows what a “donkey punch” is?

The other night we (yes, we, my individualism is gone) were watching TV and saw a Wal-Mart commercial for Faded Glory jeans. It struck me as so funny, that name (and I get it, Faded because it’s denim). But it just seems to conjure up a memory of better times; like before you were buying your clothes from Wal-Mart.

Okay, I’ll play.

25. Hot Fuss -The Killers
24. Turn on the Bright Lights -Interpol
23. Castaways and Cutouts -The Decemberists
22. Final Straw -Snow Patrol
21. Mass Romantic -New Pornographers
20. You Are the Quarry -Morrissey
19. Befriended -Innocence Mission
18. The Moon & Antarctica -Modest Mouse
17. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah -Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
16. Gimme Fiction -Spoon
15. Figure 8 -Elliott Smith
14. Kid A -Radiohead
13. Fold Your Hands Child, You Walk Like a Peasant -Belle & Sebastian
12. Things we Lost in the Fire -Low
11. Is This It -The Strokes
10. Heartbreaker -Ryan Adams
9. Hissing Fauna, Are you the Destroyer? -Of Montreal
8. Stephen Malkmus -Stephen Malkmus
7. We Shall all be Healed -The Mountain Goats
6. Kill the Moonlight -Spoon
5. Oh, Inverted World -The Shins
4. Illinois -Sufjan Stevens
3. Fever to Tell -Yeah Yeah Yeah’s
2. The Hour of the Bewilderbeast -Badly Drawn Boy
1. Yankee Hotel Foxtrot -Wilco

It would probably take me a decade to compile a list of my top 25 favorite songs of 2000-2010 but I can say, hands down, my favorite song of the last ten years is “Maps” by The Yeah Yeah Yeah’s.

When the Rain Comes -The Jam
Rain -Bishop Allen
Nice Day for a Sulk -Belle & Sebastian
Dry the Rain -The Beta Band
Rain -The Clientele
Ocean Rain -Echo & The Bunnymen
Standing in the Rain -Hüsker Dü
Stormy Weather -The Pixies
After the Rain -John Coltrane
I See the Rain -Matthew Sweet & Susanna Hoffs
I Think it’s Going to Rain Today -Nina Simone
Weathershow -The Gentle Waves
Crooked Rain -Pavement
I Feel the Rain Fall -Red House Painters
Raindrop -Reindeer Section
And it Rained All Night -Thom Yorke
Make it Rain -Tom Waits
Hey Mr. Rain -The Velvet Underground

The reason I love Morrissey so much happens at 0:32 in this video.

It’s cold in Silverlake today, but it isn’t as cold as when it snowed it 1950. Hard to believe. For more incredible, historical photos of my favorite neighborhood in LA, go here.